On children and dating......them not me!

At some point I have grown a teenager, not quite sure when that happened, or even why. I am not ready quite frankly.

Being divorced means for me, very little co-parenting. It means that we never had a discussion as to rules or ground work conversations when it comes to dating. Having my oldest be a boy, I thought I had some time. Last year however, to my dismay, my ex-husband allowed my son to start spending time on the weekends with his "girl-friend" at her house, properly supervised.

I wasn't thrilled.

To me, 14 is still to young to be dating, and allowing time on the weekends for them to spend time together seemed to be encouraging this behavior. But I don't get asked questions, or how I feel about things that go on at "dad's house".

So fast forward a year, and my son has a new "girl-friend" and he wanted her to spend time at my house with her. I reluctantly agreed, but felt that at least at my house I could be confident regarding the amount of supervision that would be going on.

We set up the date and time, and I made sure he was clear that they would NOT be hanging out in his room. He was not happy but I was clear that it was NOT appropriate for them to be hanging out in his room on his bed. I also made sure that all of his younger brothers and sister and would be home to help out as well.(insert evil grin here)

The day went well, youngest sister was well behaved and monopolized said girl friend's attention with puzzles and bracelet making as only a super cute 4 year old can do. And luckily there was no inappropriate touching or kissing as I had feared.

How do parents teach their children appropriate public intimacy without getting freaked out themselves?

I just hope that all that chaos and extra supervision curbs this as a routine.....

#365FeministSelfie

So my near and dear friend proposed this blogging challenge for me for 2014. The idea came from another fellow blogger ...this is how it works in the virtual world I am learning...

The idea is simple, post 365 selfie pictures that are what a "feminist looks like". Yes, folks, that would be me...

I'm not 100% comfortable with the idea of selfie pics, I'm not very happy with my appearance these days, my hair is growing out, I'm 15pounds over my ideal weight, I'm seeing aging lines on my face... but then I thought, this is exactly the point! 

We as a society are obsessed with the "ideal" image of a woman. So obsessed that it turns inward and we find ourselves critiquing everything about what we look like and it in turns changes how we feel about ourselves.

This may be just what I need.

To learn to love who I am... every day.
To expose that women over 35,a size 10, and a mother of 4 should be paid attention to.
To be silly,
To be serious
To be thoughtful.
Because this is what a feminist looks like.... at least this one anyways.

Welcome 2014

2013 has passed and I can't say I'm terribly sad about it. Not my worst year ever but certainly a challenging one. I remind myself that there are lessons from the universe hidden within these challenges. I do feel myself much more grounded at the end of this year then where I started it, so that's a good thing. I've recently moved into a new space which feels more comfortable, and in just a few days I begin a new position at my job. In 2013 I kept saying "something has got to give" - here's to hoping it's the New Year!