Fairwell until we meet again.....

I first met my sister in law on the very first date her brother and I took. He took me out on a motorcycle ride throughout Sullivan county to some of the most beautiful spots I had ever seen. At the end of the day we went to a party where his entire family (he is one of 8) and their friends were celebrating his brother's last night bartending at a local bar. Risa greeted me with a smile and then promptly picked me up and swung me around. To say I may have been a little intimidated is a given. She then put us in a back room alone so we could eat and brought out a candle. In the conversation of where we went riding, she turned to me and said "good thing he isn't a serial killer!"

For the last 11 years she has ebbed and flowed throughout our lives. We had wild nights where she filled up my Father's bar with black rubber smoke as she burned the tires of her F250 Ford Truck. We danced and laughed so many times and I cannot count. As our lives changed and we had our children, she became a support for us. Countless trips to Westchester for therapies for Walker, she was there to watch and entertain Sawyer.

Sure she was a Harley riding, wood splitting country girl and no one wanted to be on her bad side. (she taught me what a swirly was) But there was also a side of Risa that was sweet, vulnerable and giving. She made everyone feel like they were her best friend.

She fought hard to keep her dignity and character while finding her true self. She was the glue that kept many of her siblings and family together.

She fought long and hard against cancer. She kept her smile and her humor all the way to the end.

After her passing this week, I spoke to her. There were so many people who came out to honor her, so many people who loved her. I am not sure she knew that before, I am not sure if her tough skin allowed her to recognize  that she was an amazing and beautiful woman. I am not sure if she knew how important she was to so many. I am not sure she knew that she was my idol and that I lived vicariously through her stories, friends and many, many, rides.

I am not sure she knows that I see so much of her in Sawyer, in her tenacity and beauty. I am so thankful that she was in our lives, and so thankful that Sawyer and my other children knew her and know another version of being a woman. That strong, wild and free can be combined with softness, love and laughter.